Valentine’s Day is right around the corner – are you picking up some new sex toys for a seductive sweetie? Is that seductive sweetie you?
Sex toys are one of the most common Valentine’s Day gifts, right up there with chocolate and stuffed animals. While some consider sex toys too “raunchy” for a romantic holiday, I think they’re one of the most tender and thoughtful things you can give yourself or a partner. Your sexual health and satisfaction are important. Sex and masturbation are worth investing in, and sex toys offer new pleasure possibilities.
So what exactly should you be stocking your cart with this season? I have a few ideas!
Buying Sex Toys For… Yourself!
Whether you’re single, celibate, or just want to treat yourself to some orgasmic self-care, sex toys are a fantastic gift for yourself. You can advocate for your own pleasure by bringing them into partnered sex, or make yourself feel good (and feel good about yourself) solo. Either way, there’s plenty of toys to consider.
- A souped-up version of your favorite toy. If you’re consistently reaching for that budget bullet vibe or plucky mini wand but find it a little lacking, it might be time to invest in an upgrade!
Just about every category of sex toy has a toy or two that reviewers and connoisseurs consider the “best,” depending on your individual needs. Maybe that’s the incredibly rumbly We-Vibe Tango bullet, the powerful and versatile PalmPower Rechargeable Wand, a master of the g-spot/prostate like the Njoy Pure Wand or Uberrime Splendid, oscillating penis masturbate Pulse Solo, or the flexible and rumbly We-Vibe Nova rabbit.
- More of your favorite lube – or something new! When I run out of Sliquid Sassy, I’m sometimes left using lesser-liked lubes from my nightstand. The best self-care gift I can give myself is a 8 ounce bottle. But since it’s a splurge for yourself, you might want to try something new and luxurious… like a glass bottle of Uberlube.
- A totally new sensation. Is your collection limited to vibrators, manual strokers, or regular dildos? Consider expanding your sensation horizons! Air pulsation toys (including for penises), penis stroking wands, toys that lick, self-thrusting dildos, and ball stretchers are just a few lesser-known sex toy types that you might find yourself snubbing your old toys for.
Trying out new things will keep you from falling into an unsatisfying self-pleasure routine. It can also help you further explore your body and its capacity for toe-curling delight – which is insight you can share with partners in the future, if you so choose!
Buying Sex Toys For… Your Partner(s)!
Giving an (enthusiastically consenting) partner a gift that’ll keep on giving? Don’t get too excited and forget that this purchase is for them. “Bodies are unique, and the kinds of sensations we enjoy vary […] it’s important to make sure you consider what kinds of sensations that person will enjoy,” I pointed out in Giving Someone Their First Sex Toy.
- Something you want to watch them use on themselves. Have you ever asked your partner to masturbate in front of you? It’s both super hot and super enlightening to see how they make themselves feel good. You get an erotic show and some firsthand tips about how best to make them writhe. If your partner is interested, pick up a Firefly Moon Stroker, an iQuiver 7-Piece Vibrator Kit, or an Inya Deep Thrusting Dildo and watch them get to work.
- A long distance sex toy. If you and your partner(s) are apart – even just temporarily due to COVID restrictions – an app-enabled sex toy can help bridge the distance.
“Sex toys for long distance couples have come a long way in the past few years. Apps are more functional, more feature-packed, and more visually appealing; and vibrator makers are working on improving Bluetooth vibrator connectivity,” points out Felicity in Long-Distance Sex Toys: How to Connect…While You’re Apart.
You can get a toy your partner can use on themselves, or a toy for yourself that your partner can control.
- Peepshow Toys sex toy bundle. Did you know Peepshow Toys has curated bundles of some of today’s best-selling sex toys? Many bundles also come with lube, which means your beau will have everything they need to get started on solo self-care – or they can come fully prepared to your next romp together.
Buying Sex Toys… Together!
While shopping for groceries can get pretty dull, shopping for sex toys is practically foreplay. Sharing the experience with a partner allows you to discuss your individual needs and fantasies, which is sure to get your blood flowing… as well as bringing you closer together. Partners who talk openly about sex with each other are more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives.
But what should you be grabbing while you gab?
- Sex furniture. For decades I’ve been reading and hearing about how trying zany new positions can “spice up” things in the bedroom. But I’m old and boring, so I’m not particularly interested in contorting myself like three flamingos fighting each other. An easy, comfortable alternative is a Liberator piece.
These dense foam wedges, ramps, and pillows help support your body for easier access and more pleasurable sex. It’s amazing how big of a difference the angle of your hips can make.
- Something you can use together. You can use any sex toy with a partner, but there are some toys designed specifically for multi-person use. Couple’s vibrators include wearable vibrators, remote or app-controlled vibes, and vibrating or textured cockrings. Strap-on harnesses can be used by people of any gender, and can be paired with g-spot/prostate dildos with flared bases for some targeted stimulation. Bondage restraints and impact toys can add some kinky elements to your pleasure itinerary.
These kinds of purchases encourage you to open up about your needs and desires as individuals and as partners.
- A toy just for foreplay. There’s no reason your purchase has to be center stage! Some of the most overlooked aspects of a healthy sex life is the lead-up. Seduction deserves just as many accessories as the rest of your intimacy. Trading massages, playing a spicy boardgame, taking turns wearing nipple clamps, sucking and pumping… there’s a lot that can be done to build mutual arousal and enhance satisfaction in the long run.
Why invest in foreplay? Because it shows that you care about every part of your sex life, not just the grand finale.
- Beginner’s anal kit. Anal is the great equalizer of sex: anyone can enjoy anal stimulation, regardless of gender identity or sexuality. From rimming to butt plugs to strap-on sex, there are all kinds of ways you can explore and enjoy anal sex with partner(s).
“But while there’s no right or wrong way to have anal sex, there are best practices you can abide by for better experiences,” I pointed out in How to Have Safe, Pleasurable Anal Sex, “Don’t blunder your way through butt sex. Make sure what you’re doing is safe, comfortable, and fun.”
A great way to introduce anal to an enthusiastically consenting play partner is with a beginner’s kit. Maybe that’s Bvibe Anal Training and Education Kit, Bvibe & Oxballs Anal Novice Bundle, or a progressively upsizing plug set like the CalExotics Anal Excersizer Kit or Mood Naughty Trainer Kit.