Rimming Someone for the First Time: A 101 Guide | Peepshow Toys

By Betty Butch 

I love rimming! I have gone down on butts of all genders and sexualities. There’s something powerfully arousing about gripping someone’s ass and eating them out until their shy gasps melt into greedy moans. It’s a great way to lead up to anal penetration, or to enjoy all by itself. 

Curious about what analingus is really like? Looking for guidance before your first butt munching adventure? I’ve got you!    

What does rimming taste like? Can I change the taste?  

The surface of a butthole tastes like musky and sometimes mildly sweaty skin. If you dip your tongue in, there’s a slight bitterness; the skin is a little sour, almost metallicy. In my experience, these tastes are stronger depending on how long ago the person showered (this morning? 10 minutes ago? last night?) and if they wear breathable fabrics.

Some people are only comfortable with rimming after a shower and/or anal douching, which makes the taste even milder. If that’s you, that’s fine! As long as you’re not shaming your partners about their body and bodily functions, it’s okay to explain your comfort zones and establish boundaries. 

If you want to quickly lessen or completely diminish the taste, use more saliva when you lick. Smooth, slick licks are usually more pleasurable for the rimming recipient anyway. You can also use flavored lubricants! My favorite is Sliquid Swirl Blue Raspberry. 

If you want to avoid tongue-to-skin contact altogether, you can use a dental dam. These rectangular sheets of latex are used to reduce the risk of transmitting STI’s. Most are flavored! For the best results, put some water-based lube on the side of the dam you’re placing on your partner. Don’t stretch the latex taut, just hold it in place. Slow, firm licks seem to work best through a barrier. You can still tongue-fuck their hole, because the latex will stretch with you. 

Don’t use any strong, perfumed soap on your butthole. The skin is very sensitive! And never put soap inside your asshole. 

How do you rim someone? What’s the best rimming technique? 

Like any other sex act, the “best” way to rim someone is whatever way both you and your partner enjoy. Quick, light, and teasing? Slow, wet, and sloppy? Pushing a lube-slicked thumb in their ass and licking around it? Stretching them out with a butt plug, then removing it and tongue-fucking their loose hole? Exploring your options and discovering what excites you is half the fun. 

Rimming can be done in any position that gives your face access to your partner’s ass. For me, the easiest are 1) having the receiver on their knees with their back arched and ass in the air, or 2) the receiver laying on their back with their legs folded and knees on their chest. Both positions partially spread their ass cheeks and give me easy access to their genitals too. If you’re getting neck strain or your partner isn’t at a good angle, try introducing some sex furniture to your rimming routine. 

Generally, it’s best to start off slow and gentle. Wake up their nerves by touching them. You can smack and squeeze their ass, or give their hole some hot, open-mouthed kisses, or tease them with a gentle vibrator on the lowest setting. When you start to lick, flatten out your tongue and make sure it’s wet with saliva or lube. Dry licks with the tip of your tongue can feel pokey and abrasive at the beginning. 

The partners I’ve been with have usually preferred slow, wet, methodical oral over fancy tongue swirling or spelling tricks. But everyone’s body is different. Check in with your partner. (Receiving analingus for the first few times can be awkward, so they might not have specific feedback to give – but that’s fine, you’re figuring this out together!)

Butt holes can be pretty resistant to insertion, because the muscles are tight. If you plan on pushing your tongue inside, you’ll have to get the sphincter to relax first. In my experience, this can happen naturally from heightened arousal. 

Take your time stimulating your play partner’s hole. Enjoy the soft, crinkled lines of the skin against your tongue. If your hands aren’t busy holding their cheeks open (or if your partner can hold their ass themselves), play with the rest of their body while you eat them out. Massage their thighs, stroke their belly, touch their junk… just make sure that if your fingers have had contact with their ass, you stop and wash your hands before touching their genitals. 

There are infinite methods for tongue-fucking: firm, languid ‘dips’ of your tongue into their asshole from different angles… rapid, greedy jabs… wide licks that press firmly inside… I like to incorporate a bit of sucking and/or very gentle nibbling to take advantage of the highly sensitive skin. Some partners’ instinctive physical response to anal pleasure is to clench. If their sphincter tightens, firm up your tongue the way you would to lick icecream that’s still firmly frozen. You can also incorporate fingers and simply lick in around them. 

Are there any rimming sex toys? 

Toys can’t fully replicate the experience of rimming, but they still feel fantastic and can help you explore anal pleasure. 

Rimming Butt Plugs – These plugs have beaded mechanisms in the neck that roil and rotate to provide unique stimulation to your sphincter. Examples include the b-Vibe Rimming Plug (also available in petite and XL), Doc Johnson A-Play Rimmer, and the Blush Performance Plus Drive. 

Tongue Toys – These toys have moving “tongues” that flick or sway. When slicked up with a water-based lube, they can tease or sometimes even penetrate you. One example is the Sir Richard’s Control Rim Joy Vibrator.