A 101 Guide: Trying New Toys With My Partner

Adding toys into solo or partnered play is always an enhancement. When I add toys into my pleasure space, I add them to activate more pleasure, not to get rid of the pleasure that is already being activated. Adding toys can be intimidating for some people. There is so much stigma around toys, to begin with. The best practice, even if you already have a wide variety of toys, is to ask yourself or your partner what they are comfortable giving and receiving when it comes to added stimulation and pleasure. Never assume that everyone is on the same page.

The best foreplay is going to purchase a specific pleasure toy to use. This also always allows all partners to advocate and communicate their consent when purchasing a pleasure toy. Since we are living in a world of quarantine, we cannot, as easily, go out to our local sex store to see what products we want. That’s why you have me and Peepshow Toys to walk you through some of my favorite toys to use with partners ranging from massage oil to ass play. A reminder that I am coming from a space of enhancing pleasure and not making orgasm the goal and to always get an enthusiastic consenting yes from your partner before deciding on what toys to use.

I am going to start with massage oils because that can be a very intimate and sensual way to add-in pleasure enhancements. Oils and scents are subjective and based on person and person and day to day. Peepshow has a wide variety of oils, lotions, and candles to choose from. A good rule of thumb is if you are using flavored products is to avoid having it near the vulva and vagina because it can cause irritation and your pH to shift. Also if you are prone to yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis, I would avoid flavored oils and lube near the vulva and vagina. 

I would then go into the classic magic wands and the attachments. This style of a toy can be inclusive for both external and internal pleasure. A more financially accessible wand that I suggest is Blush Lush Gia 2-Way Wand Massager & G-Spot Stimulator. What I love about this toy is that it can be used both internally through the vagina to the urethral sponge (one end of the handle) and on the external body (the bulb area). The more expensive option, in which you can buy attachments that allow it to be used more inclusively is Le Wand Pleasure Set Bundle: Rechargeable Wand Massager with Silicone Attachments. This wand is longer in length which is more bodily accessible. This specific toy is a bundle that includes a classic massage head, a massage head with ripple attachment, a prostate attachment, and a urethral sponge attachment as well as all external stimulation. Most wands come cordless or corded, this fully depends on preference. If you wish to have it corded, I would double-check that the length of the cord is accessible to where you will be using it or make sure you have an extension cord around. 

Couples toys are another good place to research. They can get pricey depending on the functionality and purpose. A bang for your buck is Satisfyer Partner Multifun 2 Couples Vibrator. What I love about the multifun2 is that it is flexible and you can alter its shape to be a cock ring, a urethral sponge stimulator, a litoral stimulator, a nipple stimulator, to use underneath the testicles and to stimulate the anus (outside only).

I can spend ALL DAY talking about introducing ass play and pleasure toys, but for the purpose of this post, I will suggest my favorite anal toys to enhance pleasure for prostate havers and for folks who like the feeling of being filled while being penetrated vaginally. I do not have a prostate, but I always recommend the Aneros Helix Syn Trident Prostate Massager. It is a hands-free toy, and you can also add enhanced stimulation by putting the base of a vibrating toy to the external base of Aneros. If you have taken an ass play workshop with me, you know how much I love my SquarePegToys® Egg Plugs SuperSoft Silicone Butt Plug. This beauty gives you the filling sensation if that’s what you are into like me, and you can ‘grow’ with the product. Squarepeg offers 6 sizes of egg plugs which is great for expanding your anus and sphincter. 

If you have made it to the end, I hope this acted as intimate sensual foreplay into co-purchasing a pleasure toy. Adding toys requires communication and consent from both parties. You would not show up to a party with a food dish that you did not communicate with the host about, so do not show up with a toy that you have not communicated and consented about.