The Best Sex Toys To Use When You and Your Partner Have Vulvas

So many toys recommended to couples are meant to be used by partners with a vuvla and penis. But what if both you and your partner (or one of your partners) have vulvas? What are some great potential additions to your toy box?

Vibes for Scissoring, Humping, and Thigh Grinding. 

Vulvas can be pleasured in a number of ways, and one of them is rubbing. Grinding your body against something – or someone – else can feel amazing, and you can enhance those sensations by coupling them with a good toy. 

One such toy is the RockHer, a dual stimulation vibe that can be worn for tribbing/scissoring or oral sex. Wear it with the vibrating bulb on the outside to share the vibrations with a partner, or wear it with the spreading arm outside to hold your labia apart and give your partner direct access to your clitoris. The similarly shaped We-Vibe Sync and Chorus aren’t large enough to share with most partners, but can be worn for grinding on a partner’s thigh. 

Wand vibrators are my favorite toys for humping with a partner. Large wand heads can be shared in some positions, and the powerful vibrations from wands like the Magic Wand Rechargeable or the Doxy are effective even when trapped between your body and part of your partner’s body. 

A Self-Thrusting Dildo or Rabbit. 

Not everyone with a vulva wants – or can have – penetrative sex, but most of my partners have, and oh boy do I have the wrist strain to prove it. Wielding dildos, using my fingers, holding myself in position during strap-on sex… Sometimes my (admittedly weak) wrists could use a break, and I reach for a mini fucking machine

“If you enjoy the motion of penetration, self-thrusting sex toys can bring new life to your playtime,” explains Felicity of PhallophileReviews in 4 Reasons to Try A Self-Thrusting Toy. “These thrusting (and sometimes vibrating!) toys move back and forth, imitating penetrative sex. Some wiggle and jiggle, some stimulate both the G-spot and clit, and some offer long and fast strokes—like a fucking machine, but more compact and easier to position.” 

Save a wrist, grab a pulsator! 

Finger Vibes to Enhance Hand Sex. 

Everything I said about wrist strain goes double for fingers. Maybe it’s because I’m over 30 and my body is falling apart as we speak, but I really appreciate having vibrations as backup since I utilize my hands so much during sex. Toys like the Hot Octopuss DiGit, Fun Factory Be One, or the Dame Fin fit on or between your fingers, helping you stir up some extra magic wherever you’re rubbing, cupping, or massaging. If you need some extra horsepower, the Exposed Nocturnal by Blush and Screaming O Charged Positive are incredibly strong for bullet vibrators – just don’t expect to be able to feel your fingers afterwards! 

An Absorbent Sex Blanket.

Sex involving vulvas tends to get pretty wet, whether it’s from bodily lubrication or store bought. Some of us even squirt during sex, usually after particularly targeted g-spot stimulation or an orgasm. If you’re having sex outside of the safety of a shower or tub, this can mean someone gets stuck sitting – or sleeping – in the wet spot. If you’ve got room in your budget, there’s a better option than laying on an old towel: a Liberator Throw

These soft, absorbent sex blankets keep your naked tush comfy while soaking up your gushing enthusiasm. When you’re done having sex, you can just toss it in the washing machine. No more sleeping in the wet spot!

Toys to Use During Strap-On Sex. 

Strap-on sex gives us the opportunity to penetrate our partners in new and uniquely erotic ways, but they can also feel like barriers that keep the wearer from gettin’ some too. “Inserts like the Bumpher can provide stimulation while wearing a harness, and dildos that vibrate can offer secondhand buzzing,” I wrote in Toys for Transgender People. “Some harnesses, like the Temptasia Briefs and Spareparts Joque, come with pockets specifically to hold vibrators for the wearer. And of course, for people who don’t mind using their front hole, there’s also wearable dildos like the Feeldoe Realdoe, Fun Factory Sharevibe, and the Vibrating Union.” Just make sure you pair those “strapless” dildos with a strap-on harness (or else lower your expectations.) I speak from experience

Vibrators with Versatility. 

While you may have similar anatomy to your partner(s), it’s highly likely that the ways you like to experience pleasure are different from theirs. Maybe you prefer deep, rumbly vibrations, and they like surface-level, buzzier ones. Maybe they like vigorous g-spot stimulation and you don’t like penetration at all. This can make building a sex toy collection complicated, especially when you’re picking out your first toys. 

While there’s no toy that can please everybody, there are a number of toys designed to be versatile, allowing you and your play partners to explore your preferences (and potentially seek satisfaction in different ways.) The Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet and Noje Quiver have attachments that change the pressure and texture of the toy. The Tango Pleasuremate Collection and Noje Mini Wands and Noje interchangeable heads change the vibrators’ functionality. 

(If you can’t find common ground with a single toy, there’s always a Peepshow Toys bundle!) 

Sex Furniture to Help With New and Favorite Positions.

If you want to upgrade from shoving a (gradually flattening) pillow under your partner’s hips to get the best angle during oral or strap-on sex, you should consider sex furniture. Sex furniture like the Jaz or Wedge makes it so much easier to get into your favorite positions, and if you have a lot of sex on the floor (like maybe because you bought that bedframe your partner warned you was going to be too squeaky), larger models like the Ramp can cushion you and hopefully prevent rug burns from overzealous writhing.

If you want to try new, unique positions, you can get a toy mount like the Axis or the rocking Pulse. These mounts  allow you to use your favorite wands, dildos, or self-thrusters hands free.

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