Why Realistic Dildos are so Hot (And What You Can Do With Them)

Realistic dildos are a treat for both cock connoisseurs and those who are cock-curious. They come in all shapes and sizes. (I wish I could say “all skintones” too, but the industry often favors paler tones.) Some offer bonus features like suction cup bases, vibrations, rotating shafts, or ejaculation – to name just a few. 

But why do we like them so much? When there’s such a variety of abstract shapes and fantasy designs, why would someone choose to use a toy shaped like a penis? What’s so hot about a dong with veins? 

I’m so glad you asked…

Realistic dildos look like dicks. 

An obvious statement? Maybe. But some folks really downplay the attractiveness of dicks, and subsequently of realistic dildos. 

Penises are sexy! The delicate (or sometimes intense) branching of veins. A uniquely shaped head/glans, whether it’s petite or fat or has a prominent crown. The heavy drape of lightly wrinkled balls. Soft, bunching foreskin, whether it’s hugging the glans or drawn down to expose it. Writers like Phallophile Reviews and Girl on the Net have been crowing over their beauty and benefits for years – and for good reason. Penises (and the people they’re attached to) can be absolutely wonderful. 

Although not a true substitute (people and sex toys aren’t interchangeable), realistic dildos seek to capture some of that wonder. And if you’re after especially realistic details? There’s always ultra ultra-realistic dildos with life-like silicone highlights, which are as real as body-safe silicone can feel! If a stranger’s dil won’t do, there’s also Clone-A-Willy kits for a copy of a consenting willy you know.

Doubly cool is the fact that realistic dildos look like dicks, but have shapes designed for the user’s pleasure. Want a dick with a near inhumanly perfect g-spot/prostate curve? Have at it. Need unending, perfectly rhythmic thrusts to get you through a handful of orgasms? That exists too! 

Realistic dildos allow you to experiment/explore. 

If you don’t have (or aren’t ready for) a play partner with a penis, realistic dildos are a stress-free way to explore the anatomy. When a bi-curious friend of mine admitted “I’m not even sure I know what to do with somebody’s dick,” I suggested they try realistic toys first. (And, of course, ask any future partners what they enjoy.) 

Curious about blowjobs? Realistic toys have surface details (like skin lines or veins) that can give your mouth additional sensory feedback. How does it feel to drag the tip over your tongue over a thick-skinned frenulum? What about having the soft head bump the back of your throat? 

Or maybe it’s not blowjobs that interest you. Maybe it’s vaginal or anal sex. You can practice with a variety of shapes and sizes in silicone. Often, the most “real” feeling toys are dual density dildos. They have plush, flesh-like outer layers and firmer cores to imitate an erection. How does it feel to rub the head against your entrance? Or clench around its girth?  

Looking to explore a specific sort of penis? There are numerous massive models for folks who want to tackle size. Or maybe you’re curious about uncut penises or curved shafts...

Realistic dildos can be gender affirming. 

Some trans and non-binary people experience “bottom dysphoria,” a feeling of anxious discontent with how their genitals relate to their gender identity. Mine is especially acute when it comes to sex. One thing I’ve found to be gender affirming – that is, something that makes me feel like myself – is using a strap-on harness. 

A harness allows me to participate in sex acts that feel more natural to me. Penetration, receiving blowjobs, even jacking off. For some transmasculine and non-binary folks, a realistic dildo adds to this experience. The visual feels more authentic. (I sometimes choose semi-realistic toys because I feel like if I had a dick, it would/should sparkle.) These days there are even ejaculating dildos, which I’m a big fan of conceptually. 

There are few things sexier than feeling at home in your body (or at least at peace with it.) Getting to hold the base of my silicone dick while my partner slides down to sit on it, watching each vein-lined inch disappear into their body – unf!

Realistic dildos help make fantasies feel real.

Oftentimes, it’s not just the dick we’re interested in, it’s the people (real or imagined) they’re attached to. In that case, a realistic dildo (or packer) can make a great role playing prop. 

Masturbating while imagining getting banged by your favorite X-Men? There’s a Thrusting Mutant dildo for that. If there’s a specific porn star you’re crushing on, there are a few lifecast dongs of famous performers out there. Some of my partner’s dirtiest daydreams involve DP, so I’ve been considering doubling up my strap-on with a wearable dildo.  

Even if you’re not interested in doing it in real life, fantasizing about threesomes and group sex is normal and incredibly common. A blindfold and a sex toy mount or a fucking machine can help bring those fantasies to fruition – minus all the emotional and physical effort of wrangling another human. 

Obviously, any dildo can be used for phallic play. But when you’re lining up suction cup dildos to coach your partner through fellating them one after the other, it’s a lot easier to imagine sexy people on the receiving end when the toys have erection-blushed tips or balls with lickable skin lining.

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Betty Butch (they/she) is a queer sex and relationships writer. By blogging about their experiences as a fat, trans, autistic person, they hope to help change the narrative of who has sex and what sex "should" be. Follow them on Twitter and Instagram.