Sizing Up: How to Push Your Sex Toy Limits Comfortably and Safely

by: Felicity, Phallophile Reviews

When it comes to sex toys, size often does matter—and so do texture and firmness! If you’re looking to start taking larger toys, this guide offers some helpful tips. I’ll be focusing on my area of expertise—dildos—but my suggestions also apply to other insertable toys, like butt plugs and prostate stimulators. 

Step 1: How Big Is the Biggest Object You Can Take Right Now?

It’s hard to choose a toy that fits you well if you’re not sure what your current limits are. If you have a dildo you really love but wish were bigger, look up a product listing to find its size specifications for girth and length. If you’ve only used fingers before, I’d suggest finding a flexible tape measure to measure the circumference of the fingers you’re inserting. 

Step 2: Choosing Your Next Sex Toy

A good guideline when sizing up is to go slow: add about a quarter of an inch—a third of an inch, tops—to the maximum diameter¹ you’re currently comfortable with. 

Firmness is another factor to consider when choosing your larger toy. If you have a current toy you’re sizing up from, then consider what material it’s made of and whether you enjoyed the feel of that toy.²  For example, switching from a dual-density silicone dildo (which is squishy on the outside) to a firm, glass dildo (or even to a firmer silicone one) may seem like a much bigger leap³ than switching to another, larger dual-density dildo. 

Finally, some dildos have a lot of texture that can affect how much you enjoy sizing up. For example, as much as I enjoy Split Peaches’ small Rivetor when I’m craving extra stimulation, I wouldn’t recommend it to someone who’s looking to size up from a smoother, fairly realistic toy like the Vixen Leo—unless that person is really sure they want a lot of pressure.

Step 3: Trying Out Your New Toy

Imagine that you’ve now received your new toy in the mail—yay!—and are eager to test it out. After thoroughly cleaning the toy,⁴ here’s what you can do to enjoy your new friend as much as possible:

• Apply plenty of lube. Lube is your friend in many situations, but this is doubly true for times when you’re moving beyond your comfort zone. If you don’t usually use lube for vaginal play, this is the time to start: a quality water-based (I like Sliquid Sassy) or oil-based lube allows for easier insertion, and less friction when you’re thrusting a toy.⁵ And for anal play, many thicker lube options are available. 
• Relax. Warming yourself up first is key to taking a larger toy. Sit back; use a smaller toy, watch some porn, have a partner play with you—whatever really turns you on. Then, go slow; introduce the toy gradually and gently, while continuing to think about sexy stuff. ☺
• Stop if you feel any pain. This is my absolute most important tip for sizing up. You should experience a feeling of fullness, and possibly slight discomfort, when you first get the toy in all the way. But, if you feel any pain, then don’t try to push through it. Sure, it’s frustrating to not be able to take a new toy (or any particularly awesome toy, really), but no one wants to tear their genitals or rectum. If you follow all these tips, this doesn’t have to happen—buying big toys can be a fun and exciting experience!

Conclusion: The Right Fit for You

In my own journey of sexual self-discovery, I’ve had a great time exploring my limits. This has included buying toys that were too hard, too soft, too textured—and yes, too large to use comfortably, no matter how slowly I went.⁶ We all have different individual limits due to our different anatomies, and that’s great. Sizing up can be fun, but size shouldn’t be a contest; it’s OK to only be comfortable taking small- to average-sized dildos. What really matters is that you listen to your body, go slow, and—most of all—enjoy yourself.

That said, if you’d like to see some really big toys, you can check out Peepshow Toys’ Extra Large Dildos category here.

HUGE (sorry, had to) thank you to Felicity, the G-Spot Diva of Phallophile Reviews, for authoring this post! 

^{1. This means about an inch in circumference, maybe a little less.↩}

^{2. But be sure to buy body-safe materials! Silicone, ABS plastic, metal (like Njoy’s stainless steel), borosilicate glass, stone, and wood can all be safe choices. Silicone is the only one of these that can be soft.↩}

^{3. If you’re interested in silicone dildos, my own website includes a detailed Silicone Dildo Firmness Guide that compares many brands of dildos.↩}

^{4. To sanitize, boil (for three to five minutes) any silicone dildo or plug without mechanical parts inside it; if the toy has a built-in vibrating mechanism and/or a battery compartment, it’s good to soak it in a 10%-bleach solution and then wash thoroughly.]↩}

^{5. Silicone lube is a good choice too if the toy you’re using isn’t made of silicone. Some silicone toys can take silicone lube, no problem; while other silicone toys may degrade after coming into contact with silicone lube. There’s no guide for which lubes will react with which silicone toys except to do a “patch test”: put a small dab of silicone lube on the toy’s base to see if there’s any reaction. If you’re able to easily clean the lube off and don’t notice any change in the toy, then the silicone lube is fine to use with that toy. ↩}

^{6. It was the 2.5”+-maximum-diameter alien dildo with a pointy head that I couldn’t take. I’m pretty sure Split Peaches’ Large and Extra Large toys would be a bit extreme for me too!↩}