Top three worst vibrator outcomes
3. Your vibrator dies a peaceful death. Sometimes there are warning signs like a few less powerful sessions, but ultimately, one day, the vibrator just won’t turn on. It may be a disappointingly premature death or the end of long career dedicated to pleasure, but ultimately all things must come to an end.
2. Your vibrator dies a more dramatic death. This is potentially the most mortifying outcome because after some increasingly erratic behaviour your vibrator won’t turn *off.* No matter how many times you rapidly press the buttons or how long you hold them it refuses to cease. You stuff it at the bottom of your sock drawer because all things must come to an end, right? Right? The muted buzz haunts you for days (RIP Swan Maximum Bullet.)
1. Your vibrator goes out with a bang and a cloud of smoke. This was one was totally my fault, never use a decades old Original Magic Wand after the wire starts to fray.
My Fiend suffered the second fate, except I was never quite sure it was done dying because there were a couple of times I thought it had finally run out only for it to spring back to life at inopportune moments. I was travelling internationally so the bottom of the sock drawer wasn’t a viable option and I briefly contemplated dumping it in a public waste bin to avoid an awkward border incident.
When I made it home Peepshow was great and offered me a refund or a replacement. I did like the compact and powerful Fiend while it was operational so I took a second chance and accepted the replacement. I just don’t trust it enough to let it leave the house.
Also, FYI it is pretty loud for a bullet.
