There’s much ado about orgasms! While they’re often described as the height of sexual pleasure and satisfaction, I personally prefer to think of them as the cherry on top: a delightful additive to an already delicious indulgence. They don’t have to be the focal point of your treat, and you can enjoy sundaes without them.
That being said, there’s much ado about orgasms for a reason. Orgasms are fun, feel good, and have a number of health benefits. Exploring what can (and can’t) make you come results in learning more about your body and how you prefer to give and receive pleasure.
This information helps set the foundation for better sex, more candid communication with partner(s), and an adventurous attitude about pleasure that keeps things interesting. Never stop learning, especially about sex.
So in the interest of encouraging said explorations, here’s a list of orgasms and some suggestions for achieving them! Keep in mind that preferences vary, so whilst on your sexual travels you may discover my tips (which so often couch on “go slow and easy to start”) don’t apply to you. That’s okay! We’re all different.
Cervical and Anterior Fornix (or “A-Spot”) Orgasms
Deep in the vagina is a cylindrical protrusion called the cervix. It’s the narrow, puckered opening to the uterus, and it’s denser to the touch than the surrounding vaginal tissue. Most people with cervixes find direct contact with it to be jarring, but a gentler touch can be immensely pleasurable and can even cause a cervical orgasm.
Within the recess that’s next to the cervix and on the front wall of the vagina is the anterior fornix. The a-spot is soft and springy. Stimulating it can result in an increase in vaginal self-lubrication and an orgasm. Its mirror, the posterior fornix, is also an erogenous zone, but in many people it lacks the same sensitivity as the a-spot.
There are a number of potential ways to achieve a cervical or a-spot orgasm, including:
- Penetrative sex in positions that compress the vagina, including doggy style and on your back with your legs to your chest. This allows for deeper penetration. Because these areas are further back and more sensitive, consider starting with deep, slow, minimal thrusts that keep continuous, massaging contact with the cervix or a-spot.
- Long fingers – slicked with a thick but slippery lube like Sliquid Sassy – can sometimes reach them and provide a mild massage. Unlike many g-spots, cervixes and a-spots usually respond best to gentle (not firm!) rubbing pressure.
- Long, mostly straight toys with a curved or bulbous tip such as:
- For even more on a-spot orgasms, check out Kate Sloan’s piece here on the Peepshow Toys Blog.
The clitoral glans (that is, the part of the clitoris that protrudes) is often mistaken for the sum of the clit; it is, in fact, just the tip of the iceberg. The clitoral complex is a sizeable root that extends for several inches into the body, straddling the vagina with spongy tissue that swells when aroused.
These deeper legs of the clitoris can be reached through vaginal stimulation, firm vulva massages, and rumbly vibrations. Both the outer and inner portions of the clitoris can be engaged to build into an orgasm. Clitoral orgasms can range from pithy little “pops” of sensation, to full body waves of pleasure.
The stimulation enjoyed by clitorises is highly individual, but here are a few recommendations:
- Oral, especially when performed by flattening out your tongue and lapping at a middling pace (the ideal ice cream licking speed.) Nuzzling into their vulva, incorporating your face and lips, and even – for some folks – clever little tongue tricks can be used to heighten the experience. Some clitorises respond to steady sucking or light nibbling, too.
- Rubbing and stroking with hands, fingers, limbs, or textured toys like:
- Grinding your vulva against appealing surfaces such as a partner’s body, a pillow, some sex furniture, the lip of a tub, or even toys like the Enby.
- Sex toys of all kinds, as a majority of vibrators are created for clitoral use (or internal use, in which case they can still be used externally.) A few categories include:
The glans (or head) and the base of the penis are the most sensitive, but everything – from the urethral opening to the inguinal canals behind the testicles – can be used to create orgasms. Penis-based orgasms do not have to involve ejaculation. Some oft-traveled routes to penis pleasure include:
- Oral, including licking, sucking, taking part or all of the penis into the mouth, and combinations of all three. As with mouth stimulation of other genitals, the best oral for penises depends on the person – but, generally, it’s all about consistency and repetition. Even humming and very gentle teeth scraping are potential additions.
- Hands or masturbation sleeves for gripping, rubbing, and stroking. Speed and pressure preferences for this vary, but generally as orgasm nears, a fast pace is preferred. Some manual-use sleeves include:
- Grinding your penis on soft or slick surfaces like other genitals, limbs, the bed, or sex furniture.
- Penetrating another person or a toy like Sir Richards Twin Turbo, and either thrusting, grinding, or being massaged by the receiving orifice. Much like stroking your penis by hand, penetration envelopes the penis in pleasant pressure, and allows you to move for further stimulation.
- Other penis toys such as:
Prostate and Anal Orgasms
The rectum and butthole are highly sensitive areas. The persistent rub of a fingertip over the slightly crinkled skin of your hole is enough to make some toes curl, so it’s no surprise that butt orgasms are possible, even if you don’t have a prostate. The rectum is teeming with nerves, and the major one – the pudendal nerve – is attached to both the perineum and the rest of your genitals.
For people with prostates, orgasms involving your butt have a convenient target: the small bulb of flesh located on the front wall just a few inches inside the rectum that helps with ejaculation. Prostates can be stimulated directly, or indirectly through the perineum. Prostate orgasms tend to feel deeper and more expansive than penis ones.
Here are just a few ways to seek butthole bliss:
- Fingering, whether it be tracing the rim, fucking inside, or massaging all the right places. This can also be done with toys. As with any kind of penetration, ample lube is important – doubly so because the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication like vaginas do. Fingering must be started slowly, giving your body time to adjust.
- Penetration with toys or other body parts. People without prostates can benefit from the same prostate-seeking tactics of using curved toys and angled thrusts: dragging against the top wall to stimulate the sensitive nerves there. Some prostate-targeting toys include:
- Stimulating the hole, either through oral sex (aka rimming), touching, or using toys. Taste-shy participants can use lube and a dental dam to avoid direct skin contact. Gentle touches or lapping can be used to loosen the butthole and allow for shallow penetration with your tongue or toys.
- Other ass toys, including:
- Massaging the perineum, often with knuckles or firm pressure from toys.
- For more on anal sex and pleasure, check out The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for [Cis] Men and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for [Cis] Women.
Gräfenberg (or “G-Spot”) Orgasms
The textured, spongy area is located a few inches into the vagina on the top wall is the g-spot. Like a lot of erogenous zones, it can become puffy when you’re aroused. Likely part of the clitoral complex, the g-spot is associated with squirting (that is, ejaculation) and the statistically elusive vaginal orgasm. G-spot orgasms can sometimes be intense because of how reactive the pelvic floor is.
Here are just a handful of methods in seeking a g-spot orgasm:
- Fingering, most often performed with the classic “come hither” curling motion, or firm, circular massaging using fingertips. This can also be done with firmer toys that have curved lengths or prominent swells such as:
- Other g-spot vibrators and g-spot dildos. Generally, curved toys with relatively inflexible bodies work best.
- Penetrative sex, especially when thrusts are shallow or angled for maximum g-spot impact. Preferences vary, but as the g-spot swells, it tends to tolerate firmer pressure; quick, targeted thrusts to rub/“milk” the g-spot seem most commonly effective. Sex furniture can be used to enhance thrust angles.
- Clenching around bulbous toys like kegel balls or plugs resting against the urethral sponge (the area around the g-spot.)
- For more on g-spot stimulation, see Kate Sloan’s post here on the Peepshow Toys blog.
A blended orgasm is the merging of orgasms from multiple stimulation points. For example, some people who orgasm from simultaneous clitoral and g-spot pleasure hitting their peak say that the resulting orgasm is distinctly different from having “just” a clitoral or vaginal orgasm (and is often stronger as a result.) In the case of clit/vag blended orgasms, toys like dual stimulation (or “rabbit”) vibrators can provide an easier journey.
While I’ve listed a number of genitals-based orgasms, there are many other places people can reap orgasms from. Some folks report that particularly powerful daydreams can result in mental orgasms. I can have blended orgasms wherein my nipples and my clit seem to be equal participants in the pleasure delivery.
Some people’s mouths are so sensitive that a particularly sensual kiss can create orgasmic fireworks. Erogenous zones vary in placement and intensity for everyone; it’s inevitable that some of us would find ways to come from them, too.
But as I pointed out towards the beginning of this piece: orgasms are cherries, not the whole sundae. The pursuit of them can be fun, but only if it’s the journey you’re banking your enjoyment on – if it’s all about the o’s, you’re going to miss out on appreciating the rest of the alphabet.