How do you choose the right size sex toy? I recently posed the question, "Or do you want it BIGGER?"
That's because big sex toys catch the eye. They draw attention, immediately. And fans of stretching derive intense pleasure from them too.
But nothing is right for everyone. Especially if you're just choosing your first toy! You gotta choose what works for your body. I'll give a few general tips on how to choose a dildo, or how to pick your best first vibrator. Then I'll move on UP in size, and cover the awesome larger options that Peepshow Toys carries!
Picking Your First Insertable Sex Toy
There are many valid reasons for wanting a slim sex toy:
- You've never experienced vaginal or anal sex before.
- You may have vaginismus, or be recovering from any trauma that makes it best for you to not be stretched.
- You're just naturally more comfortable with not-large penetration. Our bodies are definitely not all sized the same—that includes all our holes too!
One tip for finding the right first toy size is to see how many fingers you can comfortably insert inside yourself. Then use a soft tape measure, or ruler, to measure across the finger(s). (Sex toy measurements are usually given in diameter, which is the distance straight across; but a few manufacturers, like SquarePegToys, use circumference, the distance around.) It's best to move up in small steps: 0.25" diameter to 0.3" diameter between toys. For someone who has little to no vaginal or anal play experience, great first toys are:
- Butt plugs: The Mood Naughty Trainer 3-Pack plugs start really small and move up in very reasonable increments. I wish they'd been my first butt plugs, as they have a classic and comfortable shape.
- Vibrator (longer): The Blush Gaia Eco is an excellent size for easing into vaginal play. For someone who's only inserted a finger or a tampon before, Gaia Eco's tapered tip and slim 1-inch width should be a comfortable next step.
- Vibrator (G-spot): The Pillow Talk Racy is only 0.87 inches wide, rechargeable, and—like all Pillow Talk vibes!—quite rumbly! The more sensitive user won't find them "itchy," and you have access to the full intensity range through the Incremental Speed control button.
- Dildo (shorter): The Blush Avant P3 is my favorite first dildo to recommend because it starts small (1" wide at the head), has a gradual taper outward, isn't long either, and has a strong suction cup.
- Dildo (longer): The Blush Neo Elite 7.5" has a small head but a longer length. If you're looking for a realistic toy to try riding hands-free, it's a great choice.
- Harness / strapon dildo set: The Blush Temptasia Twist Kit has three sizes of slender dildos, with smoothly spiraling lines for a bit of flair. Pair with a strap-on harness for fun with a partner.
For insertable toys, I focus on width more than length in most cases. Here's why: you can always choose to not insert a dildo's full length, whereas the maximum width usually occurs farther up on the toy—much harder to avoid.
The Middle of the Road: Comfortable for Most!
Average is average for a reason: it appeals to most people. It's comfortable. For dildos and G-spot vibes especially, 1.5 inches wide is the standard; while average dildo length is 5.5 to 6 inches. This size range is hovering close to median penis girth, with a lil' extra length. If you're looking for a good all-around new dildo or vibe, and you don't normally find penetrative sex painful, then "average" size makes sense. Check out these toys in particular:
- Dildos: The Neo Elite dildos are a hit because they're very affordable dual-density silicone. Their two layers of silicone are: soft like skin outside, but firmer underneath. Of the 4 models, one (the 7.5") is above-average length, while another (the 7") is above-average girth.
- G-spot vibe: The Pillow Talk Sassy is flexible G-spot power, with a wide speed range from low and rumbly to quite strong.
- Butt plugs (firmer, weighted): b-Vibe Snug Plugs cover a fair range of sizes: Snug Plugs #3 and #4 are closest to average plug width. These plugs have weighted balls inside, that shift as you move your hips.
- Butt plugs (squishy-soft): The SuperSoft Bronze silicone of SquarePegToys' Egg Plugs is available from "pretty small" to super huge. Choose "small" size for what most toy makers consider average!
Dildos and butt plugs are more likely to come in larger sizes (see the next section!) But almost all G-spot vibrators are 1.5 inches max. diameter or close. A couple exceptions are the Fun Factory Big Boss, which is a tad wider than average (and whose strong vibes feel imposing!); and the big end of the Swan Wand, which is lots of power and lots of G-spot pressure.
Giant Dildos and Huge Butt Plugs: Stretching for the Big 'Uns
"Long" and "thick" may mean different things to different folks. Generally, toys between 1.75 and 2 inches wide are moving toward "wider" ground, and feel filling for a lot of users. Likewise, toys 7 inches long or more are gettin' on up there.
And if you do want it truly BIG? Then we have super-sized sex toys—for the lover of stretch or depth. Both the vaginal entrance and the sphincter muscles have lots of nerve endings, so spreading and stretching them can produce lots of sensation.
Before you jump into the deep end, see more tips for sizing up here.
Takeaway: Be gentle with your body, use lube, and always stop if there's pain! SquarePegToys, Oxballs, and Hankey's Toys excel at producing large sex toys that are high-quality too. Some of their best:
- SquarePegToys Egg Plugs and Blunt Plugs are truly the way for safe anal stretching. Egg Plugs are shorter and easy to wear around, while Blunt Plugs are proportionally longer (and therefore a good way to warm up to anal thrusting). Egg Plugs come in 9 sizes, and Blunt Plugs, 10 sizes! See a demo of the SquarePegToys Blunt Plugs and more stretching tips here.
- Oxballs Ergo is super-sexy in Super Soft Blueballs (or in smoky gray). The wide, squishy base almost hugs your butt crack.
- SquarePegToys' Leo is another classic in SuperSoft silicone. SquarePeg was the first US maker to use truly soft silicone, for lots of squeezability and comfort if you like to thrust and ride fast.
- Hankey's Toys Nick Capra (especially L/XL!) and Cutler X have lots of real-life skin texture and a gliding silicone finish. Many users think it feels a lot like skin, because of that softness.
In the end, remember: There's no right or wrong answer when it comes to sex toy size. Except maybe one rule: ENJOY!
Phallophile Reviews explores and ranks body-safe silicone sex toys, from thrusting dildos to G-spot vibes to suction cup positions and more! Follow the author, Felicity, on Insta or Twitter for her latest toy adventures.