How to Find the Right Partner for a Threesome by Red Hot Suz

Finding a unicorn/third for a threesome can be hard! I’ve heard this from countless couples; the ratio of couples to unicorns is drastically skewed. That's why unicorns are called unicorns after all - because they are so rare. Here are my favorite places to find threesome pals, both in real life (IRL) and online. 

While this article is written for couples, the advice is applicable to any person looking for a threesome. 

Online 

Tinder. The popular dating app can be a great place to meet couples or unicorns, as the app boasts 50 million users per month (statistic from 2014). While most of these people aren’t searching for threesomes, that doesn’t mean you won’t find other people open to to possibilities, or specifically looking for non-mainstream sex. The only downside is that since so many people are using the app, you won’t be able to be as discreet if you’re a pair looking for a third. I don’t recommend putting non-face shots on your profile either; if you’re looking for anonymity, go elsewhere. 

Tip: Because the app is mainly used by users looking for single sex encounters (especially bisexual women, who are tired of getting asked to join threesomes), make sure you read the internet room, so to speak, and send appropriate and thoughtful messages (external link to Red Hot Suz's blog).

FetLife. FetLife is a social media platform for alternative sex. There’s lots of users online specifically looking for group sex, and you can see what people are interested in (sex wise) by checking out their bios. Anonymity is more common on Fet, so if you need to hide your face for professional reasons, this is a good place to do so. I highly recommend adding some face pics to your “friends only” pics though, so you can show people what you look life after you’re comfortable with them. The only downside to FetLife is it’s a very aggressive website. Be prepared for lots of genital, and extreme kink, pictures and badly written messages. 

Reddit. You may be shocked to find out that the popular news and forum website, Reddit, is actually a really great place to find people for threesomes. The website boasts countless sex specific subreddits including ones that are dedicated to finding other Redditors for various activities. Your local r4r subreddit will allow you to find people in your city who are down for some group sex. You can post your own discussion thread calling out for potential partners to reply to it or you can search and see if someone has posted an ad looking for someone like yourself. 

Feeld. Formerly known as the Thrinder, Feeld is a Tinder-like dating app for kink and group sex. There's not many people on it, and it’s UI doesn't work all the time, but it's a work in progress. And as there’s not many other group sex apps available, it's it's still a good option. 

Social media. If you're someone who runs in sex positive circles, social media can be a great way to meet potential partners. You could always put out a tweet calling for potential partner(s) or if you've been flirting with someone for a while (who knows you're someone who will be down for a threesome) consider bringing the idea up with them. 

IRL 

Local kink groups. 

Munches are IRL non-sexual kink meetups and can be a good place to find potential threesome partners. If you go to them enough you have the potential to meet someone that is down for a threesome. 

Sex clubs. If you're ready to jump right in, sex clubs are great places to meet people for group sex. Sex clubs are (usually) safe environments where people can explore sexuality with each other and with other people. Most people specifically go for the group sex aspect so there will be a good handful of people who would love to threesome with you. Some clubs even have threesome specific nights like, unicorn nights, where they facilitate activities for unicorns and couples to get to know each other. 

A friend. Asking your friend(s) to join a threesome is a very cliche threesome trope. However, in my own experience most of my threesomes have been with people I have not met before. Asking friends to join you for a threesome can be a delicate situation as you don't want to offend the friend or ruin your relationship. If there is a friend who flirts are going on with, then definitely consider them but proceed with caution when asking them to join you. 

This is the final part of Red Hot Suz's three-part series on threesomes. Don't forget to read the other two parts of this three-part series:

Sex toys for a threesome

What you should consider before a threesome


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