5 Sexy Things You Can Do With a Tied up Partner

Bondage is a ton of fun, and it can bring a whole new mood to sex. Restraining a partner might mean you have them feeling submissive, frustrated (denial can be very sexy!), desperate, or playfully bratty. It might make you feel creative, in control, worshipful, fiendish, or a little sadistic. 

But what do you do once you’ve got a partner all tied up? There are endless possibilities. I tested a few brand new products firsthand so I could share a few ideas – and hopefully inspire your next play session… 

Just make sure you’re communicating with your partner and doing your research ahead of time!

1.) Sensation play…. with the Lil Devil Sensation Wheel or the Kink Spike Pinwheel. 

Pinwheels are one of my favorite foreplay tools. The original Wartenberg wheel was a medical device designed to test nerve sensitivity. They look painful, but they’re not! Pinwheels are actually just light pressure toys. They usually feel like a cross between fingernails and firmly pressed fingertips. 

They’re best used slowly. That makes pinwheels a great choice if you’re wanting to take your time and really enjoy all your skin has to offer. 

Peepshow Toys sent me both the Lil Devil and the Kink Spike pinwheels. Despite appearances, the Kink Spike Pinwheel is actually the gentler one! The tiny Lil Devil has sharp spikes that feel more pokey if you press too firmly, so be careful with your play partner’s skin.

The Kink Spike Pinwheel has three wheels. Multiple wheels spread the pressure/sensation out more so it’s not as ticklish. Its little metal probes have blunt tips, making them feel light and pitter-pattering. Its intimidating appearance and occasional squeaky wheel made it a great prop for medical role play – that is, pretending to be a sexy doctor and a tied up patient. 

Pinwheels can be used anywhere, and I like to vary what body parts I target. First I’ll wheel over somewhere sexy and sensitive: breasts, inner thighs, throat, balls, stomach, or the soles of their feet. Between those, I’ll use the wheel somewhere less-traveled, like the inside of their elbow or down their calves. 

It’s fun to discover where someone’s the most sensitive. The answer is always changing, and it’s often not a place typically considered sexual. 

Pairing pinwheels with bondage offers tons of delicious “torture” possibilities. They can squirm all they like, but they’re not getting away! Skim the wheel close to where they’re bound to remind them they’re under your control. Contort them into an unusual position – like on their knees, leaned over, with their arms cuffed behind their back – and take advantage of their vulnerable state to reach their most ticklish places.

2.) Tickling… with the Noir Soft Feather Tickler

I haven’t tried the Noir Soft Feather, but I’ve had lots of feather ticklers over the years. The Noir Tickler is unique because it’s large, luxuriously fluffy, and has a lengthy handle for both aesthetics and control. 

Like pinwheels, feather ticklers are ideal for slow build-up and intricate intimacy. They’re also a great addition to role play, whether you’re a saucy maid who’s repurposed some of their duster feathers, or a showgirl or Victorian poet with a love of tickle torture.  

Tickling can be tender and seductive. Sweep the Noir Feather’s large feather over your partner’s body, letting its downy tendrils tickle and stroke. You’ll be waking up their skin so they’re more sensitive to whatever comes next. It’s also a great way to make them focus on their body and the ways it’s limited by how they’re bound. You can outline their lines and curves, whispering compliments – and pleasurable promises – as you go. 

Tickling can also be deliciously agonizing. As much as I love sweet romance, I like devilish torture more. Their ribs, the soles of their feet, the backs of their knees – these are the sensitive, ticklish places I’ll go to with a feather. When my partner is cuffed to the bed or in a hogtie, all they can do is writhe and gasp until I relent – or until they ask me to stop.

3.) Try new sex positions…. With the Voodoo Double Rope Wrist Cuffs or the Printed Handcuffs With Handle

Bondage restraints offer so much more than just having your wrists bound. There are sex swings, restraints to tether someone to the door, spreader bars that hold your limbs apart, restraints that keep you bound from neck to waist, hogties, and more. 

Many restraint systems force the wearer into new positions. If you need some motivation to get creative with sex positions, restraints can help. I received the Voodoo Double Rope Wrist Cuffs and the Printed Handcuffs With Handle to do just that! 

The Voodoo Double Rope Wrist Cuffs are great for the beginner bondage enthusiast who likes the aesthetic of rope, but isn’t ready or capable of tying their own knots – or simply doesn’t have the time. The rope is sleek and soft, not scratchy. Unlike other adjustable ropes I’ve tried, the Voodoo Wrist Cuffs have plastic stoppers. These prevent the cuffs from tightening during playful struggle and cutting off circulation. 

The Voodoo Wrist Cuffs are fun because they can be looped through something, like the bars of my headboard. Having my partner stand on their knees and arch their ass out for a spanking while they’re attached to the headboard is a visual I keep in mind long after we’re done playing. 

Another favorite is having my partner lay on their back with their knees to their chest, and then cuffing their hands in front of their thighs. This is a sexy, vulnerable position that’s fun for going down on them, penetrative sex, spanking, or tickling their feet. 

The Printed Handcuffs With Handle are really fun. They’re made of rigid real leather with a pleasantly soft lining. I love that the buckle is lifted so it doesn’t touch or pinch your skin. The handle is firm plastic so you can get a really good grip. Everything is securely stitched, so I felt very comfortable lightly roughhousing – which you can’t say about many other budget-priced cuffs! 

There’s so much you can do with the Printed Handcuffs With Handle. You can blindfold a partner and lead them around a room. You can use them for a handle during doggy style, forcing your partner to balance on their knees or else rest on their face and chest. You can put the handled strap around the back (the back! not the front!) of their neck like a neck pillow, locking their wrists up by their face. 

The latter was my surprise favorite position. I can put my partner on their knees while I’m standing and hold the handle for control while receiving a strap-on blowjob.

4.) Wax play… with the Temptasia Fox Drip Candle

The Temptasia Fox Drip Candle is a gentle, beginner-friendly sex candle. It scores serious cuteness points, but more importantly it’s easy to light, easy to hold, and the wax is super mild! 

I was so excited to see the Temptasia Fox Drip Candle was included in my kinky care package. Wax play is an old favorite of mine, especially with bondage! It keeps your partner in suspense, waiting for the next drop and wondering where it’s going to land. 

If this candle was a sauce at Taco Bell, it would be mild. Each drip stings hot for an instant, but then immediately cools to the same soft warmth as a kiss to your skin. The sensation fades completely as the wax turns firm again. It doesn’t harden and pinch like other waxes we’ve tried. 

It’s incredibly erotic to paint a partner’s body with splatters of color, watching them jump slightly every time you drip wax somewhere they didn’t expect. (Just make sure you’ve talked about boundaries and limits first.) The Temptasia Fox Drip Candle drips quickly, so I’m glad the wax dries to be malleable like bee’s wax (which is one of its ingredients) because it’s easy and painless to pick off your skin afterward. If you’re especially sensitive, steer clear of body hair!

Because I’m clumsy (and my partner enjoys struggling), I’ve accidentally dripped it on my rope cuffs. It was easy to scrape off. 

To get the most out of your experience, vary where you’re dripping the wax, and try holding the candle from different heights. The farther away it is, the wider the wax splatters. I only light one wick at a time because it’s such a quick drip, but if you and your partner(s) enjoy things fast, dual dripping is giggle-inducing chaos.

5.) Spanking… with the Saffron Loop Paddle or the Saffron Square Paddle

Impact play can be as light or as hard as you and your partner(s) mutually decide. Sometimes spanking is all about the act – stroking their butt with a paddle, whispering sexy threats or playful chastising for an imaginary offense, hearing the crack of a toy on skin – and the actual strike is secondary. 

How you play with spanking and impact is entirely up to you. My partner and I don’t frame spanking as a sexy punishment – it’s usually either a reward (they love to mix a bit of pain with their pleasure) or because I feel like hyper-sensitizing their skin. A quick spank followed by a massage leaves them incredibly tender. 

The Saffron Loop Paddle might look like a folded-over belt, but its light faux leather delivers – at most – a mild stinging jolt. The Loop Paddle is all about the sound: a satisfyingly loud clap. It’s a great choice if all you want is the illusion of a heavy spanking scene – spanking that’s all bark and no bite.

The Saffron Square Paddle can provide painful claps, but that’s only if you put force behind your swings. The Square Paddle feels and sounds like a strike with a bare hand. The impact is thuddy, sting-y, and leaves a nice red print on pale skin. Because it’s on the small side, you have a lot of control over where it hands and how hard. I recommend it for folks who like actual spankings but want to either incorporate a tool or just want to save their hand some aching. 

I’ve owned a lot of budget-priced impact toys over the years, and I’m incredibly impressed with the Saffron paddle line’s quality. The Loop Paddle’s strap is nicely springy. The Square Paddle has some genuine heft to it and the handle is incredibly solid and comfortable to grip. The crimson faux leather surface has a lovely texture to it, and it’s easy to wipe down if you stray too close to a body part slick with bodily fluids or lube.

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