Bondage Restraints You’re Bound to Love by Betty Butch

The diversity of options when it comes to restraints can be overwhelming, especially when you’ve just begun exploring the world of bondage. How do you use each product? What are the differences between them? And how do you stay safe when you play with restraints?

Let’s demystify your shopping experience by detailing the various kinds of restraints in five categories available on Peepshow Toys. Knowledge and communication are key to having a fun, safe experience with restraints! We encourage you to do thorough research before engaging in any kind of new sexual or kink activity – and to discuss bondage with your partner(s) to gauge their interest before ever making a purchase. We’ve included are some safety, usage and shopping tips to get you started.

Before you cringe – bondage tape is not the same as the roll of duct tape in your junk drawer! It has a unique adhesive that makes it stick to itself but not to skin or hair, so removal is painless.

Bondage tape is incredibly versatile. You can bind your partner(s) in a variety of ways, at the wrists, or wrapping their legs up from ankle to knee. You can also lightly wrap the tape around parts of their bodies (such as their chest) to truss them up for aesthetics. Unwrapping or (carefully) cutting them free can be just as much fun as tying them up!

For safer play, keep a pair of safety scissors on hand, and watch for skin discoloration or numbness. A lot of wriggling can cause bondage tape to bunch and tighten, so check in with your partner(s) periodically to ensure they’re always comfortable.

These are the most popular restraints. There are cuffs for hands, wrists, and even thighs, made from materials like leather, metal, silicone, neoprene, or fabric. Cuffs also come with a variety of locking mechanisms: buckles, sashes, locks, chains, or velcro to suit any aesthetic.. The variety is exciting!

Bondage cuffs are simple to use while allowing flexibility for you to get a creative or clever as you like. Bind your wrists in front, behind, or to two separate points (like chair arms.) If your cuffs have a chain, you can loop it through headboards or cupboard handles. Buy both wrist and ankle cuffs and attach them together in various combinations. Cuffs pair well with collars that have a ring in the front, connecting the accessories for added restraint! Bondage cuffs allow you to experiment with different levels of restriction while you’re only an unbuckling or two away from freedom, so they’re ideal for nervous newbies.  

When playing with cuffs, make sure your partner(s) keep the fit loose (ideally one or two fingers.) As you play, you don’t want any struggling to result in restricted blood flow, so flex your fingers regularly to check yourself for sluggishness or numbness. And if your cuffs come with a lock, keep a spare key attached to something big and easy to find, like a colorful lanyard or costume jewelry.

Rope is often the first thing people think of in discussions about bondage, and for good reason! It has a long, world-spanning history as an erotic artform. Bondage rope can be made from a number of materials, including cotton, nylon, hemp, and synthetics. And while rope usually comes in bundles of differing lengths, there are also products like Shibari Double Rope Cuffs and Sex & Mischief Adjustable Ropes that utilize rope but don’t require you to tie anything.

Rope works well for simple bindings, complex ties, suspension bondage, harnesses, and more – and it looks beautiful in all its forms. There are a large number of resources both online (Remedial Ropes, Watts the Safeword) and in book form (Two Knotty Boys, Better Bondage for Every Body) where you can find tips and tie tutorials, or you can attend local kink events with live demonstrations!

Rope is generally the most complicated bondage to get out of, so it’s important to keep safety shears on hand in case of emergencies. Keep ropes loose, keeping in mind that they’ll likely leave marks. Even with the simplest of ties, check in often about numbness, skin discoloration, rubbing, and pinching – shift your limbs, flex your fingers and toes, and keep communicating! Most importantly, do thorough research before tying for the first time, and before trying new ties.

Perhaps you don’t have a headboard with columns, or perhaps your partner(s) still want to be able to move around after being bound. Spreader Bars are bondage tools that keep limbs spread without having to be bound to a fixed point, allowing you to selectively restrain your partner(s) while living them exposed. Some come with their own cuffs, while others allow you to fasten the pair of your choice.

Spreader bars for your wrists allow you to move around but limit use of your arms and hands (a predicament familiarized to pop culture by romantic comedy The Secretary.) Spreader bars for your ankles prevent you from closing your legs, allowing partner(s) easy access to your body. And bars that bind both your arms and legs render you crouched and immobile.  

Safety tips for spreader bars are much the same as regular cuffs (keep them loose, be mindful of numbness or discoloration, and communicate clearly and often) as well as making certain the wearer’s limbs don’t become too fatigued. Even parts of your body not actively bound can tire out – watch for the telltale tingles and adjust yourself!

Few people have access to a full dungeon complete with a Saint Andrew’s Cross and a Suspension Bondage Rig. But there are plenty of points in our own homes that can be used for bondage – and there are a number of products designed to take advantage of those pre-existing spaces. Among the most popular are Under the Bed restraints, which you can place beneath the mattress, and Over the Door restraints, which are fitted to the top of a closed door.

Under the Bed restraints allow for the wearer to lay down while bound, and can be tucked back beneath the mattress for easy storage when not in use. Over the Door restraints take bondage out of the bed and plaster it against the wall for new and often underexplored positions. Both styles encourage you to turn your home into the dungeon of your daydreams!

In addition to safety concerns already mentioned with prior restraint styles, you should keep an eye on the stability of your Under/Over restraints. Make sure they’re not slipping out of place, or putting undue stress on your furniture or fixtures. This is especially important with sex swing restraints that use door jams!

The variety of restraints available gives you and your enthusiastically consenting partner(s) plenty of room to experiment and explore. Do your research, start the conversation with your partner(s), and go with what appeals to you. Embrace your curiosity and pursue new experiences by trying out different bondage methods, because each one is unique!

Betty Butch is a queer, sex-positive blogger who reviews pleasure products and writes about identity and kink at bettybutch.com. You can find her on Twitter via @betty_butch.