Why Self Discovery & Masturbation are Healthy in a Relationship by Tawney Seren

Self exploration and masturbation is not only healthy for us as individuals, it can also improve our sexual practices with our partner(s). Author and sex blogger Tawney Seren explains why we need alone time to learn and explore ourselves to better communicate our wants and needs with our partners.

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Hey everyone, Tawney here with PeepShow Toys, and I want to talk about a subject that’s near and dear to me: masturbating in a relationship. Now first of all, masturbation [gasps]! I know it’s appalling, it’s still this big taboo despite the fact that we all ah - the majority of us at least - do it. But it an be an even more sensitive topic to have and converse about with your partner when you’re in that relationship. Some people might think, “why would you need to masturbate? I’m right here. Aren’t I better? What are you getting from masturbation that I can’t give you?” These are normal reactions from your partner, but it’s important to know that masturbation is not only healthy but it’s essential in my opinion - it’s that alone time that you’re having with your body.

How many times are you playing during sex with your partner and you’re wondering how your face is looking or what if they did this or if I could control their body right now? even if it’s really small and minuscule to the pleasure you’re both sharing, it’s something that you could discover in that alone time with yourself when you’re only thinking about your own body and your own reactions. There’s some things that these toys can do and introduce to you that might be awkward to talk to your partner about. It’s important to spend that alone time with yourself and thoroughly get a chance to enjoy your body.

I’ve talked with a lot of people who never even orgasmed until they were with a partner, which is wonderful. It’s wonderful when your partner can make you orgasm, but how much more wonderful would it be if you knew your body well enough to make yourself orgasm. And, the only way you’re gonna do that is if you spend some time with yourself. There’s been a lot of toys that have taught me some new and fantastic things that I never would have really involved in if I hadn’t allowed myself to masturbate while in a relationship.

As I’ve mentioned in videos past, if you’ve got a partner who’s feeling really insecure about this, it’s important to let them know that what they’re doing is pleasuring you and this is just a way for you to have a little bit of that when they’re not in the mood or when you’re interested in exploring something. It is healthy, it’s okay, you’re not replacing them. That being said, if it is a replacement for sex, make sure that you converse with your partner and you let them know and you guys come to a way that [the replacement] can be eliminated or otherwise worked into your relationship in a healthy way so that you’re not preferring one or the other.

Now, I want to show you a few toys that for me kind of invoked a bit of self discovery that I couldn’t have enjoyed during sex with my partner. So during this private time with myself, I was able to learn about my own G-spot. This was something that my partner and I were not fluent in and if I hadn’t used G-spot friendly toys, like for instance the Splendid from Uberrime [demonstrates at 2:44], then I would not have known that [G-spot stimulation] was something I really enjoyed and I wouldn’t have been able to bring in toys into the bedroom that tickled my G-spot or otherwise learned more about it and helped my partner find it in me and the P-spot in him. So using toys that have this delicate curve here can really help in that exploration. It’s just enough to kind of tickle your G-spot and not too overwhelming. Plus, it’s phallic, it’s basic. If you enjoy having sex with a penis, this is a great way to kind of explore that while not moving too far away from, maybe, the action with your partner.

Another toy that was a huge mind-blowing experience to me that would not have been found during sex is air pulsation. So, using something like the Womanizer, which is my personal favourite. Instead of having the vibration, it was kind of that tapping [gestures at 3:36], that ah - not suction necessarily but again the air pulsation against my sensitive zone. It was something that felt really weird at first and I feel like if I had used the womanizer for the first time while having sex with my partner, the sensations would have been a bit uncomfortable and I wouldn’t have wanted to kinda stick it out as I would if I were just by myself, relaxed and kind of exploring these things slowly.

 So yes, sex toys are wonderful to bring into the bedroom, but they’re also wonderful to use by yourself whether you’re in a relationship or not. So, I hope that you are never ashamed of having fun. I hope you take a look at the toys that have been presented to you here at PeepShow Toys and you find some that you can enjoy and explore your body with in private. I really look forward to you kind of experiencing that world. So thank you all so much, and happy hunting!