Using sex toys is still taboo despite how healthy masturbation is for overall wellness. Self discovery is a big part of being able to tell your partner(s) what you want in the bedroom and sex toys can help with that. In this video, author and sex blogger Tawney Seren gives her tips on how to introduce sex toys into your bedroom.
Read the video transcript
Hey, everybody. Tawney here with PeepShow Toys. And today I wonna talk about bringing toys into the bedroom with your partner. So as we know this can be a very scary subject to bring up with your partner, it’s still kinda considered taboo despite how healthy masturbation is and how healthy these sex toys can be and um how much it can help in discovering new ways you wonna be touched or places you enjoy vibration or penetration. I mean it’s a wonderful world of sex toys that we live in but I understand that it can be hard to discuss that with your partner. It’s important to know first and foremost that masturbation is healthy. Self discovery is incredibly essential to being able to articulate what you want from your partner. Another thing I might [have] failed to mention is that this is the person that you’re sharing your body with, this is who should be able to share your hopes your dreams, your kinks, your fun, your toys with this person. You’re sharing something very intimate with them so if you cannot have a conversation about what you want, then perhaps some communication with your partner is what needs to be worked on because if you can’t share it with them, who can you share it with?
So, some of the techniques that I’ve used in my relationship that have really helped ease the way for sex toys in … First of all if you have a partner that believes they might be being replaced by these toys or that you’re not getting enough of the sexual experience with them and that’s why you’re adding them, it’s really important to give positive reinforcement. Make sure they know what they’re doing when they’re doing it is pleasuring you. That it’s feeling good, that they’re wonderful in bed and that that’s not why you wonna bring these toys in - that they are enough for you. It’s just a fun fun way to spice things up so you can discover new parts about your body and pleasure points that you may not have known you had. It’s just a way to explore with your partner, not a way to replace your partner.
So a few techniques that helped for me, other than definitely making sure they know when they are pleasing you - I also started watching porn with my partner. If that’s something that’s also incredibly hard for you, try finding a porno that’s a fun rendition of a movie you guys enjoyed or satire. Something you can laugh about while also being aroused. This is a way to visually see things that you might want to try in the bedroom without having to physically bring things in. And last but not least, go small. Don’t bring out Big Bertha in a strap-on and say, “Bend over babe, we’re doing this all or nothing”. Bring in little things that are a little more “universally acceptable” in the bedroom. And by that I mean massage oils, maybe warming liquids and cooling liquids, different sort of lubes, light bondage gear like handcuffs and then maybe you can move on to other things. It’s great to move very slow and learn what you enjoy with your partner because toys may just not be for them. It’s good to have that communication, it’s good to try that out with them.
So one of my favourite little baby steps here, SLiquid Organics Silk [demonstrates at 3:12]. It’s incredibly silky, almost to the point where it is like a massage oil. I brought this in because it was different from the lube we were normally using. It was a way to introduce something in a baby step that was still something we are used to in the bedroom. It wasn’t stepping outside the box but still I was bringing something in that was new, saying “let’s use this, let’s try this”, and gauging the interaction and how easily accepted it was. So I highly recommend this one. One, it’s got that milky milky sort of look, almost like cum. You can use it on your tits, you can use it on your hand. You can kinda have that silky smooth erotic massage while also adding that lube and it’s very easy to clean off. So this was a really fun addition.
So once we’d gone through some of the massage oils and different lubes. I then decided to bring in handcuffs. And that was fun, it was fun. But then, I asked about this [gestures at 4:07]. Now I love using this in the bedroom. It’s a fantastic couples toy in my opinion. This is the bondage tape from Blush, they’re Temptasia line. It’s incredibly easy to get out of and cut. It’s a little bit stretchy so no one’s feeling restrained pass the point of the basic restraint. Pass the point of its purpose. You’re not feeling like it’s really tight and hurting. It doesn’t pull at your hair. It’s not a painful toy to use - and I believe that handcuffs and kind of these bondage tapes are something that we’re seeing a bit more of in movies, in books, um it’s becoming a little bit more mainstream. And so, a lot of times when couples get handcuffs as gifts or if you’re getting it for your partner, it’s not as intimidating as a dildo or a vibrator. I think this is a great step to kinda spice things up in the bedroom, again, without bringing in a physical toy that’s changing a lot of the sensations that you’re experiencing with your partner. All in all, with this toy, they are still the ones that are causing that arousal with you. You just happen to be bound a little bit, might be [in] different positions.
So after you’ve warmed up I’ve got another toy here that I found to be very wonderful in the bedroom. Here we have the Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration [gestures at 5:24]. So this toy here in my opinion is not very threatening-looking. It’s not very phallic, it’s not huge, it’s not a plug. It’s just a very very powerful vibrator and pulsator. It works really well on the clit. And it also feels really really good, so I’ve been told, on the underside of the balls as well [gestures 5:47]. So along the underside of a cock. Just in those very sensitive zones. Again, this is not very intimidating it’s very small, but still very powerful. You can turn it on [demonstrates at 6:00]. You can gently massage over their skin. It’s got a very very light fluttery vibration compared to a lot of the others. So it can feel almost like a gentle tickle when it’s used. So again, without having something that they’re actually penetrating or something that is, ah, you know, maybe uncomfortable for them, an insertion toy that they’re not comfortable with, this is a little bit more like a massager. So you can kinda mask it under the guise of that and put it on their sensitive zones and see where that takes you.
Again, I think it’s wonderful that you’re excited to bring toys into the bedroom. It can really unlock so many different sensations, and feelings, and even ways to orgasm that you never even thought possible. It’s important to have that conversation with your partner. So, ah, happy hunting. I can’t wait for you to bring in some toys and spice up your life. There’s plenty to choose from. Thank you so much again.