How do you market yourself safely and effectively in the sex+ world?

This is a question I ask myself frequently. I feel this answer can vary from person to person, your morals, ethics, identities, and how you honor and hold space for yourself. 

I would first figure out: what does being sex-positive look like for you? What do the community and space look like for you? For me, it starts with my philosophy statement that I worked on with Dr. Joli Hamilton. I constantly am revisiting it and further asking myself what it means and what spaces I might be excluding. It goes as follows:


Throughout this trans, sex worker/ erotic labor, kink/BDSM, STI, fat-body, mental health/ illness, disability-affirming, anti-racist and ANTI-anti-Semitic account, you will be able to feel seen, heard, believed in this cohesive space of art, art therapy, sex education and activism with healing and honoring your sexuality and sensuality at its main core. I will continue to keep this safer space, a sober learning space, and hold its core at being trauma-informed. I won’t settle for being better or doing better, change and activism start by demanding differently. This can be shown in language, financial, body, pleasure, space, and identity accessibility. This is being beyond the binary and holding ourselves accountable.
I believe in you.

That is a starting point for how I personally navigate through my space. For me, this goes beyond my digital platform and into my everyday life. Disclosing STI status, not yucking anyone’s yum, showing up, creating safer and affirming spaces, and being vulnerable and transparent. It can be continuing to learn and credit folks that have created the space that I am in. It can be demanding differently in the spaces by understanding and continuing to learn cultural humility and not just cultural competency. I truly believe that I am not here to master (become competent) in something and stop learning. That is doing better or being better. Demanding Differently is a lifelong practice (cultural humility) with constant unlearning and discovering what makes you uncomfortable and what your biases are. I got the notion and saying ‘demanding different’ from Courtney Brame (@honmychest) podcast SPFPP Episode 134: Do Better AND Do Different - Inconvenience Yourself. That phrase has really helped me discover spaces that I feel seen and heard in and where I can amplify voices if that is the support they need. 

It is important to remember that we all show up in different ways. The important thing is that you show up. You credit and cite your sources, continue to learn, and create affirming spaces. 

Demanding Differently, 

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