The infamous question that many, if not all, vulva owners ask at some point in our lives. Firstly, the G-Spot is a culturally accepted term. Fun fact, it is not actually a spot. It is called the Urethral Sponge. The sponge expands when it is aroused pressing on the urethra to help avoid urination happening during sexual arousal (hence why peeing after orgasm can be tough along with your pelvic floor muscles contracting). When the urethral sponge grows, it can create pleasure pressure along the legs of the clitoris and the female prostate gland. I, as well as countless educators, use the term urethral sponge because it steps away from the idea that there is a specific spot that will allow pleasure or that it is an on and off switch that can be done by the classic “two finger hither” motion.
If you are someone like me, urethral sponge stimulation can be painful and or uncomfortable. I personally find the pressure on the urethral sponge not that pleasurable for me when it is the only part of my body being stimulated. I do not enjoy the feeling of having to pee because then I get too much in my head about it. It is also good to note that the majority of vulva owners cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone.
With that being said, that does not mean you cannot explore and feel pleasure around the urethral sponge. I am 23 and I had my first penetrative orgasm at the age of 23. I had to learn and explore what pleasure looks like for me, explore my body and incorporate toys that might expand this pleasure. I also had to unlearn that the g-spot is a mythical exact spot. The urethral sponge, however, is a thing and can feel amazing when you learn what feels good for your body. Pleasure is not going to look the same for every person and it is important to remember that. What I, a friend, a partner, or a column recommends is not a blanket statement. Pleasure can change day to day and it is not a “one size fits all” approach.
Another good mindset that is helpful is removing the goal of pleasure is to orgasm. Getting out of this mindset can allow you to explore pleasure for the sense of pleasure and nothing more. When we put our minds to a goal, we only focus on that and how to achieve it. I know I get in my mind and I feel like it is taking too long and how it is not even feeling good because I am worrying about the future goal and not being in the moment with my pleasure. I have found creating a ritual to allow myself to be fully present with myself to explore pleasure. Then once I become comfortable with how my urethral sponge responds to certain touches, patterns, vibrations and toys, I can transfer that communication to my partners if I want too.
As I stated earlier, it took me 23 years to figure out how to orgasm and receive pleasure through internal stimulation. I am going to share some toys (vibrating and non vibrating) that have enhanced my pleasure internally. .
If you have found me through haleyhasenuncensored you can see my LOVE for Uberrime products. I never thought I would be a real fan of a non-vibrating dildo until I met Ūnō and Amo which has a flatter surface to press and massage the urethral sponge. I find slow pulsating and in and out movements work deliciously for me.
My new favorite is Uberrime’s Sensi Vaginal Plug Dildo. I really enjoy the aspect of being full and having this plug fit yummily in the vaginal canal allows me to enhance my pleasure while stimulating myself through my clitoris or anally. This is a beautiful enhancement and prolonged my pleasure which I was unaware of and I enjoy exploring this frequently.
I also opt in for a rabbit or dual/triple stimulation vibrator. Clitoral stimulation really enhances all my internal stimulation and pleasure. Also anal stimulation has helped as well.
To sum it up, try creating the mindset of I have not fully explored the pleasure in my urethral sponge yet. Placing “I don't think I receive any” can allow us to quickly dismiss this pleasure. It is okay to incorporate other body safe objects to enhance pleasure if you body is consenting to it. Also remembering that the “g-spot” is a mythical spot, and you urethral sponge is full of pleasure exploration.