Clitoral stimulation and arousal are key focus points in order to experience a clitoral orgasm. For some people with clitori, approximately 10%, have never even experienced an orgasm in their life so far! This is an alarming number for many reasons. The ratio of people with clitori having orgasms compared to penis havers is staggeringly vast.
This is also referred to as the pleasure gap. 75% of people with a clitoris need more than vaginal penetration in order to achieve an O! Knowing our own bodies as well as taking the time to learn your partner’s is the first step to taking action to close the pleasure gap. In this article we will explore clitoral orgasms and the art of arousal, as well as discuss the perfect toys to assist you on your mission.
So what exactly is the clitoris and where exactly is it located? First, to clear up any misconceptions, the vulva is an umbrella term to describe all of the external genital organs. The vagina is the name for the internal genital organs. It can sometimes be common to confuse vagina and vulva, so it’s important to clear that up first.
The clitoris is located at the top of the vulva, at the point where the labia majora meets the pubic bone. This part of the clitoris is also referred to as the glans clitoris. The glans clitoris is the small part of the clitoris and is packed with nerves! This part of the clitoris is highly sensitive to stimulation. This is the area where you want to focus on stimulation and arousal.
The other part of the clitoris is the clitoral hood. The clitoral hood is the fold of skin that covers the glans clitoris. It is technically part of the labia minora, but is commonly included in the anatomy of the clitoris.
Now that we are aware of where the clitoris is and which part needs stimulation, we are ready to deep dive into the art of arousal and how to achieve orgasm.
Unlike the penis, the clitoris does not have a direct role in reproduction. It’s sole purpose and function is sexual arousal and pleasure during sex. With over 8,000 nerve endings, the clitoris is a pleasure center just waiting to be explored!
Before we go further, I also want to give a gentle reminder that masturbation is totally healthy and common. Many people have been taught that masturbation is dirty, dangerous, or ruins partnered play. So allow us to affirm that exploring your pleasure centers is healthy and part of the human experience! Pleasuring yourself can also help to unravel shame that affects confidence with yourself or partnered sex, touching yourself can help someone else touch you better. Being able to experience and savor pleasure not only feels good, but is key to emotional, and physical well being.
So how do we begin to arouse the clitoris? You want to first begin slow and soft and give your body a chance to warm up. It takes your clitoris some time to get aroused and for the blood to start flowing. When you start touching your clit, start out with gentle strokes. Apply more pressure and speed as your body asks for it. As arousal reaches higher levels, more direct stimulation of the glands can intensify sensation. This can possibly be uncomfortable if this is a new sensation for you! Different techniques can elicit different types of pleasure sensations, it’s important to experiment to find what works best for you.
Some techniques for stimulation the clitoris include:
- Rubbing: use your hand, fingers, or a sex toy (more on that later) to slide up and down or back and forth across your clitoris and clitoral hood.
- Tapping: use a gentle tapping motion on your clit and hood. This can help slowly build to orgasm. Speed it up as much as you wish!
- Grinding: using a sex toy intended for grinding is perfect for this method, if none are available to you, you can always use a pillow. Whether you’re using a toy or pillow, straddle it and grind your pelvis to get yourself there.
- Pinching: adding additional pressure such as pinching once aroused can add a different sensation that may feel good to you. You begin this method by using two fingers like a peace sign to softly pinch your clitoral hood and tug up and down.
- Tracing: use a finger to slowly trace circles around your clitoral hood, while stimulating your labia in the process.
Something else to keep in mind when exploring stimulation techniques is something called erogenous zones. An erogenous zone is a sensitive area on the body that causes sexual arousal when it is touched. Examples of erogenous zones on the body include, breasts, lips, the nape of the neck, behind the ears, inner thighs, and more. While stimulating the clitoris, it can be sometimes helpful and add additional pleasure to stimulate your preferred erogenous zone simultaneously.
In addition to erogenous zones, it’s also helpful to consider tips that help your partner to know how to stimulate your clitoris. Having a partner who knows how to get you to climax is a wonderful way to deepen sexual intimacy between you. For the best clitoral stimulation, your partner needs to stay consistent and pay attention to your feedback. Dear partners, the clit is not a magic button! You can’t just poke it and expect your partner to be in ecstasy. Make sure you thoroughly communicate before trying something new in the bedroom with a partner so you’re both on the same page.
Techniques for partnered clitoral stimulation include:
- Practicing pleasure collaboration: once you have found the right location that stimulates pleasure, try different ways of touching it. Using different motions, speeds, or toys.
- Stay consistent: the most common mistake when giving someone else clitoral stimulation is to change things up too quickly or too much. When stimulating your partner's clitoris, you just need to find the thing they like and consistently repeat it.
- Give mixed pleasure: this is where sex toys come in! You can apply pressure with other things besides your hands, like sex toys made for clitoral stimulation and orgasm.
Using sex toys such as clitoral vibrators is one of the most pleasurable ways to bring yourself to climax. Sex toys are tools to assist you and make the entire process more enjoyable. The different rumbling sensations these toys offer can extend your threshold of pleasure, giving you access to new sexual sensations and experiences. There are many different kinds of sex toys that offer clitoral stimulation, so let’s break it down to some must-try’s for clitoral orgasm!
Air pulse toys use air technologies to create a sucking like sensation that is similar to oral sex. Suction toys have the ability to grant you remarkable clitoral pleasure. If you are a fan of oral sex or that is your preferred m,ethod of orgasm, an air pluse clitoral sucking toy may be the perfect fit for you.
Using a wand vibrator is a classic and sure fire way to give yourself a clitoral orgasm. Massage wands vary in sizes, so you can decide if you want a big wand with many functions or to keep it simple. Massage wands have bulbous heads accompanied by deep rumbly vibrations that give profound stimulation to the clitoris. They offer a wide range of vibration intensities that can pleasure all bodies. Their long handles and larger heads make it so you can comfortably use them in a variety of positions while enjoying plenty of coverage.
Bullet vibrators are small and come in many different styles. They are known for their simplicity and variability. Bullet vibrators are small but mighty! They offer pinpoint stimulation that delivers concentrated pulsing vibrations, whether you are targeting the clitoris or teasing around it. These are ideal if you want to start small exploring with toys and don’t want something big or intimidating.
Rabbit vibrators have a slim head for penetration and a smaller head to stimulate your clitoris. These toys are amazing for extending your pleasure threshold, and even experiencing something called a blended orgasm. The internal structure of the clitoris encircles the vaginal canal, so penetrating your vagina with a rabbit combined with the external stimulation on the clitoris can bring bliss!
Last but not least, experimenting with orgasms can bring new exciting sensations to your life that you didn't know were possible. Remember to take your time, check in with yourself and your partners, and most importantly have fun!
Lucy Love is an adult entertainer and Sex positive blogger. Her passion is to provide quality education with the goal of helping all people gain the information and skills they need to make the best decisions for themselves about sex and relationships. Find her across all platforms, linked below!