Every week, I read messages from people who are curious about prostate play. While there is a huge amount of information on the internet about this novel form of masturbation, there is a temptation to overthink it a little. There are some essential things you need to know about prostate play but mostly, this is something you need to experience to understand.
In this guide I'll be condensing the essential information you need to know about prostate play. I'll also give you some pointers about what toys you can start with and which you can progress to after you've gained a little more experience.
Where is the prostate?
For most people, the prostate can be stimulated within four inches inside the anus. Its position is towards your front rather than your back. You will usually find a small bump, however I read messages from people sometimes who have difficulty feeling this location.
Rather than obsessing over diagrams and details, you should reach inside your anus with your fingers and attempt putting repeated and slow pressure around the area I indicated. Ideally, you will find a particular spot that makes you feel good when you press it. If you want to avoid hurting yourself with your nails, just put a condom over your fingers and hold the end with the rest of it with your hand. Start with one finger and if it isn’t uncomfortable, try two. Two fingers feels better to me personally than one.
The sensation you will get from pressing the P spot is subjective. Some people describe the sensation they get from pressing the prostate as something that makes them feel like they're about to pee. For me that wasn't the case at all. When I first started playing with the prostate, I felt a very mild pleasure. That first time I didn’t really know what to do, so the stimulation didn’t send me into overdrive. I needed more practice before the sensation became powerful.
What should one do upon finding the prostate?
If you're using just your own fingers, you should press repeatedly on the P spot. I prefer slow and steady but it's entirely possible that you will prefer varied rhythms and rapid repetitions. You should experiment in this case and see what works best for you.
Think of what happened when you first discovered the pleasurable sensation of masturbating the penis. Like many people, I did this for a long time before understanding the concept of orgasm, let alone being able to get one. One day, due to a variety of different techniques one learns from experimentation, climax happened.
Whether or not you're using a dedicated prostate toy, you will likely need to go through a "study phase" of your own body for prostate play.
The way I see people get frustrated about not being able to get a prostate orgasm reminds me of how I first felt trying to learn a foreign language. Our first language is learned naturally and the second one seems impossible to grasp, before it's finally within reach.
What do P Spot orgasms feel like?
Before we go further, let's get one thing clear; you may not get a full prostate orgasm for quite some time. Don't expect it on your first few tries. From when I first started experimenting with prostate play, it took me over a year to get the famed "P Spot orgasm". However despair not, because you will likely get what I call partial P Spot orgasms before this.
Partial P spot orgasms are those you get while still masturbating your penis. This is the kind of orgasm you will be getting until you properly learn this new part of your body. A partial P spot orgasm feels rather like a normal penis orgasm, however the intensity is usually stronger and you will usually feel an extra sensation between your anus and belly button (the prostate).
A full P Spot orgasm is one that is triggered one-hundred percent from prostate stimulation. The sensation of a full P spot orgasm is just as subjective as the description of a penis orgasm would be between you and I. For me however, the sensation of a full P spot orgasm is often like a large wave. When my own orgasms are triggered by prostate play alone, I often ejaculate before the full sensation of the orgasm hits me, which is what makes this kind of orgasm unique to me. Prostate massage usually takes me at least 40 minutes from start to finish.
Which toys can help with prostate play?
These are among my favorite prostate toys. Some of them are beginner level and others, you'll need to get after a little more experience. Peepshow stocks all of these and in many cases they asked me to test them too. I only recommend what I like, so I hope this helps you make a good choice!
Beginner prostate toys:
The ideal diameter for beginner toys is 1 inch. I usually consider a toy beginner in size until it reaches around 1.3 inches in diameter. After 1.2 inches in diameter, it is possible that beginners will need a small silicone plug to train with.
The Helix Syn is by now a classic choice among people who enjoy prostate play. It's a very accessible price and while it has no electronics, it's an excellent first choice. Choosing this will give you the form of toy you need and allow you to use your own anal muscles and fingers to explore prostate play. Both beginners and advanced users alike appreciate the form of the Anerox Helix. I suggest you go for the white non-silicone covered version so that insertion is easier (silicone requires a bit more lube).
Much like the Helix Syn I mentioned above, this version of the toy contains a subtle vibrator. I actually own this one and reviewed it for Peepshow. While not the most powerful vibration motor in the World, I find the balance between vibration and manual sensation perfect in this toy. Often, vibrators can be too overpowering in prostate toys. In the Helix Syn V, they got it just right.
The We-Vibe Vector has been one of my favorite prostate toys for some time. It's small enough for most beginners, who will simply need to take it slow and use plenty of water-based lube. The advantage of the Vector is that the vibration motor inside it is really powerful and rumbly. It also comes with a useful remote that you can use to control it. The neck is flexible on the toy, so it adapts well to most people's bodies.
Intermediate prostate toys:
Intermediate level prostate toys are those that can be enjoyed by people with a little more experience. This can be because of size or because of toys that require more technique.
The Njoy Pure Wand is one of my top two prostate toys and happens to be another that I reviewed for Peepshow Toys. The fact that it has no electronics and is made from pure steel means that this is the one I would take to a desert island with me. Bonus point that it can also be used as a weapon to hunt wild boar.
The Pure Wand has two different ends. One end is 1 inch in diameter and the other is 1.5 inches. The smaller end’s size means that this toy has a suitable size for beginners, however you will need a little experience with prostate play to get the most out of this toy. Steel is now my favourite material for prostate toys because it slides in so easily and can be altered easily with changes of temperature. The Pure Wand gives me prostate orgasms quicker than most vibrating toys.
The Chrystalino Superior is another manual prostate toy that I reviewed for Peepshow. While it doesn't feel as intense as the Njoy Pure Wand, it is more accessible in price and is a great choice for those who would prefer to be able to thrust with their prostate toys. Like metal, glass stimulation can be altered with temperature and it requires a little less lube than silicone does.
The Loki Wave is another toy that gives me prostate orgasms particularly quickly. The Loki Wave moves up and down inside the body (as fingers do) and also has two powerful vibration motors. The vibrations feel like pulses of energy to me. The thing to know about this toy is that it has a 1.6" diameter, which feels quite large, so be sure that you progress through 1 - 1.5" diameter toys first.
Advanced prostate toys:
Advanced level prostate toys are those that require quite a lot of experience to enjoy. Intermediate users may find these toys too technical or too big to fully enjoy.
The small size of the Eupho Syn may make you think that it is a beginner level toy, which it really isn't. This toy is for those who are already very used to stimulating their prostates. The shape of the Eupho Syn is ideal for those who want to experiment with more exact and precise stimulation.
Finally, the Charlie Horse prostate plugs by Square Peg Toys are also interesting for those with some experience with size. Both of these Charlie Horse plugs are two inches in diameter, which is very large for an anal toy. The Charlie Horse Milk It in firm silicone is the most intense and I've personally had orgasms with that one. The Charlie Horse Kidney in the soft silicone is great for those who want to wear a prostate plug for an extended period of time, because it's incredibly comfortable. I compared both prostate plugs in detail for Peepshow Toys and concluded that the Kidney in soft silicone was my personal favorite!
Author Bio: Adam Rouge (he / him) is a British writer and sex toy reviewer at ObsessionRouge.com. He lives in France, where he is hoarding sex toys for the apocalypse and carrying out experiments to find the perfect orgasm. Adam writes about penis / prostate toys, as well as sexuality and fantasy. His girlfriend is also a writer at Obsession Rouge and occasionally reviews clit / vagina toys.